Exploring the beauty of imperfections
Pronounce this French expression, “zhoh-lee-LED.” It literally translates as “pretty-ugly,” as in finding beauty within what’s conventionally considered to be unappealing. Maybe realizing the ugly duckling was a regal swan after all. My first cartooned tale, “The Ugglie Who Wasn’t,” testified to relief in discovering my own natural sparkle, once I risked taking off society’s cover-yourself-up-to-be-acceptable mask.
Coexistence of contrasts
It’s a paradox: two opposing, contrasting qualities co-existing, either presenting together or alternately attracting and repelling. Pride month touches into matters of self-acceptance, worthiness and respect for one another; who might be easy to love, or for whom it’s difficult to find empathy. It might be you or me grappling with personally being deemed attractive/accepted or repulsive/rejected. The politics of knee-jerk reaction evolving into mindful response, rests with being able to see with the eyes of the heart, touch in with loving kindness. Mustering courage, I can look for an inner beauty in someone who initially repels me; or feel compassion for an unlovely messiness seen beneath the surface of a perfect smile. With spiritual practice, I might bring a soft gaze and curious appreciation to somebody I’ve disliked, and find a unique, natural divinity hiding there; appreciate how the sacred and profane can partner in the mysterious dance of relationship. Making this shift is not easy. But it so soothes the anguish, confusion, fear, the hostilities hurting us every day.
Finding beauty in unexpected places
The paradox of discovering beauty in the beast, a twinkle within the grotesque happens as I make folk-art dollies. These teachers, masquerading as ugglies, buzz with humor, sizzle with the ridiculous. They’re wildly alive, unique and lovable to me. Originating out of driftwood, bones, feathers, shells and other found objects, as each doll person comes to life, it seduces me into adoring it in all its odd wonderfulness (and makes my inner kid smile).
You’ve probably experienced something as naturally beautiful to you, yet by cultural standards, or shallower first impressions — not so. Sadly, if there’s prejudice against your own natural appearance or orientations, you can lose sight of your innate ‘beauty’ and gifts. Especially if you lack mirrors for your true value. Even Marilyn Monroe struggled with this issue, just as do so many others today.
A call for acceptance and love
This June, let’s sing “I love you, just the way you are. You are so beautiful to me” (to mix the lyrics of two popular songs). Jolie-laide sings of us all with a more mature, soulful seeing. It intones a more nuanced concept of what is lovely, handsome, attractive, appealing, acceptable, worthy of our esteem. Jolie-laide asks us to don rosy-love-colored glasses and to listen without pre-conceived notions. It whispers that even when we’ve assessed that “this is bad,” within that someone or something there is still the stuff of which stars are made, too.
On a lighter note: While researching this topic I discovered the clothing designs of the late British couturier Lee Alexander McQueen. Considered to be a truly great contemporary artist, his fashions were alternately cited as outrageous, courageous, appalling and brilliantly, grotesquely gorgeous. His infamous 1995 collection won him the title of L’Enfant Terrible, the terrible child! One scholar called his audacious clothing line a “harmony of the irreconcilable, an intermingling of opposite extremes…” (Google and see for yourself).
It seems the old adage is true: the truth of what’s beautiful does in fact reside in the eyes of the beholder. May we more often behold the uniquely special design inherent in each of us. That begins at home within ourselves, and reaches out into family and community. May you and I behold and be held in kindness, goodwill.
Celebrating uniqueness
Be proud. Be you. Trust the unique spark of creation only you can be. It’s a source of resilient well-being. Shine delight, Marcia.
